what is this?

As much as I’m fond of writing things down, I’ve been suffering through lots and lots of stress and most of them come from the fact that I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

Some people will as why would I need to do that and what is the reason for that ? I’m not obese, that’s for sure. Let just say, I have my plan ahead and in order to archive the goal, I need to be fit.

I think if I could write down my daily struggles and keep track or at least share things with others, it could somehow help me to release my stress. And hopefully, I could learn more from people and people could find my failure to be their lessons too.

So let’s start the journey…we will get through it….day by day 😀

I MADE IT. DAY 1 !!!

So this morning. I was very…upset..for bingeing so bad yesterday.

But I managed to wake up early (6:45, maybe not that early for some, but for me, IT IS VERY EARLY)

I drank a liter of apple cider vinegar water…struggling to finish though. And then I had my breakie

  • [1 eggs, 1 tomato (I could only finish half) and some celery sticks with some salts]

I still decided to have coffee with a dash of almond milk and 1 tsp of coconut oil because I have アルバイトwhich means part-time job in Japanese from 9 a.m till 3 p.m and I really really needed to stay AWAKE.

One of the challenges every time I go to baito is that even though they provide free lunch  which is very nice every day, it is a typical Japanese meal. A typical Japanese meal would be rice based (trust me even if they serve spaghetti for that day, they’re still going to leave one huge pot of rice for those who would like to eat the meat sauce with rice after finishing their noodles lol). SO, today my “lunch” was a small bowl of chop cabbage and green leaves which is obviously not that fulfilling but it kept me from being too hungry.

I came home at half past 3 knowing that I needed food ASAP. I managed to make some egg soup for my real lunch while drinking my apple cider vinegar water.

  • [2 eggs-100gr of enoki mushroom-seaweed-1/2 tomato-1tbsp olive oil-salt and pepper]

Then I was craving for sugar or snack..typical sugar addicted lol. I make some mint tea with honey instead. I used a teaspoon trying to minimize the amount of honey in the tea…but I think I was pretty disgusting but having a very very spoonful of honey to “cheat” my way to the one spoon limit.

Dinner was deliciousssss with my random beef crock pot (I drank my last cup of apple cider vinegar water => FINISH MY GOAL FOR TODAY-2l of apple cider vinegar water DOWN)

  • [pumpkin-beef-celery-onion-carrot-salt and pepper]

THEN….the craving happened again….I had one big cup of Cacao to solve my sweet tooth.

  • [cacao powder-coconut oil-honey-almond milk-hot water (of course)

That’s a wrap for my first dayyyy. I’m writing this while drinking my mint tea without any honey by the way. It’s an extremely hard path to walk…but I’m gonna try to make it day by day….let’s hope for the best tomorrow.

Be healthy be happy. Dream big and love life ❤



I failed again

Yeahhhhh. I failed again. I binged again big time yesterday. I’ve been wondering why would I binge again yesterday when the day started off so nicely (plus I finally received my apple cider vinegar and was super duper extremely excited about it)…

The stringer began when I came across a super market on my way home because  it was raining and only short cut to go back to my house without getting wet was..to go through a super market. It was a total MISTAKE. Saturday is the ICE CREAM SALE DAY …and yeah. I ended up going back home, had super nice and healthy dinner, AND….go buy tons of ice cream bread cake ….and killed all of that in ABOUT an hour….SHAME ON ME.

BUT I’m not a quitter….so I woke up quite early today thinking…ok, let’s give it another try. Make the goal smaller. Today my goal is to drink about 2 liter of water and apple vinegar. Let’s see how it works. AND, may be I should stayyy reallly reallly farrrr farrrr away from the super market. Still, I would like to keep it in Paleo based. I love the way everything is so nature-based and not crazy math skill involved in counting calories carb related. It’s about balance so even if I don’t lose weight. I would really want to keep this diet going…to stay healthy at least.

By the way, there is a documentary series of HBO called “Weight of the nation” that explains the reason why people keep on coming back to sweet things in the super market ( not including how to walk out of that path by the way lol). You can watch it on Youtube.

So see you my imaginative friends tonight with more stupid writing.

Be healthy be happy. Dream big and love life ❤


Bingeing again

I think I am in the worst state of health, physically and mentally now.

I keep on bingeing on food. My coconut oil and raw honey just came today.

I think I would restart again …how far will I go…I don’t know but I should not give up…I think …..at least to keep me out of this terrible situation

So I come up with the new idea. I would write down what happened during the day what I think and moreover, my “meal plan” for the next day. Somehow this lifestyle and whatever I am doing right now make me feel extremely in secure…

So here you are…day 1:

Breakfast: salad+egg. coffee+almond milk+coconut oil

Lunch: salad+tuna

Snack: carrot+apple

Dinner: broccoli + saba

Snack: strawberry , Cacao (honey, kakao powder, almond milk, honey, coconut oil)

Let’s pray that I won’t binge again tmr…let’s pray…..